So You’ve Been Cast in White Lotus
A Packing List
At this point, it’s safe to say White Lotus is no longer just a TV show—it’s a cultural event. Your TikTok algorithm is flooded with theories about who dies, your group chats are popping off with existential debates about power dynamics, and if you’re anything like my friends and me, you’ve already determined which character you are based on vibes alone.
I’ve already scripted myself as a chic, discerning, well-traveled woman who is not here for drama, but will absolutely destroy someone if necessary—all while wearing The Row and in a plot twist, sipping something frozen like a woman with nothing to prove.
My White Lotus obsession runs deep… So deep, in fact, that on a recent girls’ trip to Harbour Island, two of my friends got into a very public, very vocal argument in our hotel lobby, and now we jokingly (but also not really jokingly) accept that we are White Lotus and have a group chat renamed accordingly.
With that in mind, let’s get into the packing list—because whether you’re a tragicomic billionaire, an unsuspecting grifter, or just someone who booked this trip to “find yourself,” your suitcase should be conveying something.
For the “Rich, But in a Way That Feels Spiritually Bankrupt” Character
A breezy linen caftan in a black and white geometric pattern—giving mystery, giving 'I know something you don’t,' giving perfectly draped nonchalance.
A cuff so fluid and organic it looks unearthed from an ancient tomb—except, of course, it’s Tiffany, and you’re wearing it with a tan and an air of studied nonchalance.
A well-worn copy of The Artist’s Way, because you’re either on a journey of creative self-discovery or using it as a prop to appear introspective by the infinity pool.
Barely-there leather sandals that suggest you floated here on a whisper, but in reality, are one cobblestone away from ruining your trip.
For the Chicly Miserable Wife Who Will Either Divorce or Commit a Crime
An extensive wardrobe of The Row, but tropical—a bias-cut silk dress in the color of old parchment, a swimsuit that requires a degree in draping to put on, and a sunhat large enough to host a séance under.
Earrings that say, “I summer in Hydra” but also “I suffer in luxury.”
A tiny woven bag that fits only a single Xanax and an unlabeled key.
For the Clueless Influencer Who Accidentally Gets Involved in a Political Scandal
A Matteau bikini that photographs beautifully against an infinity pool.
A rotation of Loewe sunglasses to express different emotional states (oversized for morning-after regret, futuristic for mid-scandal damage control).
A “revenge dress” that is also strapless, defying both gravity and expectations
A skincare routine that involves snail mucin, but no SPF (lol).
Have not tried this viral product, but I’m not not interested
For the Guest Who Arrives with One Suitcase and a Dark Past
A perfectly rumpled Dries Van Noten Hawaiian shirt—because nothing says enigmatic past like luxury resort wear with a slightly menacing edge.
An aged leather duffel with mysterious contents (old love letters? Wads of unmarked cash? A cursed artifact?).
A signature scent that is inexplicably unsettling—something woodsy but with a hint of decay, like you’ve been lost in a rainforest for just a little too long.
For the Slightly Too Friendly Hotel Manager Who Knows Too Much
A crisp neutral uniform that starts pristine but gradually becomes disheveled as the season progresses.
A pair of spotless white sneakers that will, at some point, step in something ominous.
A carefully maintained air of discretion… until episode five, when everything unravels.
Final Notes on Packing:
Don’t forget your charger (for the dramatic mid-season FaceTime fight you will have).
Consider a silk sleep mask—not for actual sleep, but for the shot where you dramatically rip it off after waking up to shocking news.
Things have a way of unraveling. Might as well document it properly.
See you in Thailand! And remember: the most important thing to bring is denial.
I really enjoyed this! Loved every item too. I love simplicity in writing. 💯